Why Can't I Own a Canadian?


October 2002


Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16.

Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)


I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

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Students Support Green Fee at USF

New charges for sustainable energy fund initiated by Florida university students.

Is it worth 75 cents to save the environment?

Florida college students are saying yes. They are now asking state lawmakers to allow them to pay more to go ‘green.’

Students at the University of South Florida in Saint Petersburg are proposing an additional fee for every credit hour.  If passed, it could raise the cost of attending USF by about fifteen dollars per semester.  

Green Fee to Save Energy

The new cost is named the ‘Student Green Energy Fund.’ The amount may vary, set by majority vote.  It can be no more than $1 per credit hour. The money goes towards lowering energy costs by developing on-campus renewable energy sources.  According to the USF Office of Sustainability, the fund will support several energy efficient programs. [more]

Student Sponsored

“The bill is completely student sponsored; it was designed by students, and it’s been a total student initiative,” says Dan Cannon, organizer for the Southern Energy Network.

 The Southern Energy Network works with students in Florida to develop initiatives promoting energy sustainability. The movement is gaining support throughout the Florida University system. More than half of USF students support the measure.

“There are over eight active campuses working on it currently,” says Cannon. “The idea is the bill would be passed through state legislature and give individual campuses the right to implement a student green energy fund.”

“A small increase is worth the benefits,” says USF student David O’Neill.  “We are proposing only a 50 cent fee.”

More Money for Academics

Supporters say the goal is to make the university more energy efficient. Any savings in utility costs would make more funds available for academics.  It will offset recent budget cuts in the university system.

The fund is for development of renewable energy sources to lower utility costs.  Typically, utilities are the highest university expense next to enrollment.

Senate to Vote on Fee

By law, any changes to the state school system first must pass the Florida Legislature.  The proposed changes in university rules (Senate Bill 778) is on the current Senate schedule.  The new Florida legislative session begins this week.

After passing the legislature, the entire USF student body will vote on the initiative by the fall of 2010. If passed, it will then be up for renewal every three years.

USF leads Green Education

The Student Green Energy Fund is not the only new green program at USF.

The University is taking the lead in teaching new energy technologies.  The Tampa campus is the first in the nation to offer a School of Global Sustainability.  Students can specialize in careers that will highlight clean energy and renewable resources. 

Green Jobs Growing

Sustainable energy is a growing field that will help industries save money and the environment. The US Department of Labor Statistics predicts ‘green’ jobs in the environmental job market will grow as much as 30 percent in the next decade.

The Student Green Energy Fund can be seen as an investment in a growth market.

For more information:

The Association for the Advancement of Sustainability in Higher Education: http://www.aashe.org/

On March 6, thousands of Buddhist monks and well-wishers of many faiths crowded a West Tampa temple to attend the opening ceremony for the world’s largest solid jade Buddha. The nine-foot statue is in its first American city on the Great Jade Buddha for Universal Peace World Tour. The tour is to promote peaceful understanding between faiths, and is on display in Tampa for 10 days.

The Great Jade Buddha is valued at five million dollars. Carved in Thailand in 2008 from a single four-ton stone, the statue was patterned after the sacred Mahabodhi Stupa at Bodh Gaya in India. The carvers chose that image because it is recognizable to all Buddhists. Canada’s British Columbian mountains provided the solid gemstone-quality Nephrite Jade.

At Saturday’s opening service, Buddhist monks stood in line to make offerings to the statue while chanting and burning incense. A public viewing with prayers, firecracker displays, and children dancing in dragon costumes followed the opening ceremony.

The statue is on display through March 15 at the Minh Dang Quang Monastery, located at 5607 Town N Country Blvd. The Great Jade Buddha for World Peace world tour began in Vietnam in March 2009 and will end in Asia sometime in 2012.