This morning there was a knock at my door.

When I answered the door, I found a well-groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John: Hi! I m John, and this is Mary.
Mary: Hi! We are here to invite you to come kiss Hank s butt with us.
Me: Pardon me! What are you talking about? Who is Hank, and why would I want to kiss His butt?
John: If you kiss Hank’s butt, He will give you a million dollars; and if you don t, He will kick the snot out of you.
Me: What is this, some sort of bizarre mob shakedown?
John: Hank is a billionaire philanthropists. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He cannot until you kiss His butt.
Me: That does not make any sense. Why?
Mary: Who are you to question Hank’s gift? Don’t you want a million dollars? Isn’t it worth a little kiss on the butt?
Me: Well maybe, if it’s legit, but...
John: Then come kiss Hank's butt with us.
Me: Do you kiss Hank s butt often?
Mary: Oh yes, all the time...
Me: And has He given you a million dollars?
John: Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town.
Me: So why do not you just leave town now.
Mary: You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you do not get the money, and He kicks the snot out of you.
Me: Do you know anyone who kissed Hank’s butt, left town, and got the million dollars?
John: My mother kissed Hank’s butt for years. She left town last year, and I m sure she got the money.
Me: Haven’t you talked to her since then?
John: Of course, not. Hank does not allow it.
Me: So what makes you think He will actually give you the money if you have never talked to anyone who got the money?
Mary: Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you will get a raise, maybe you will win a small lotto, and maybe you will just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street.
Me: What does that have to do with Hank?
John: Hank has certain connections.
Me: I am sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game.
John: But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance And remember, if you don't kiss Hank’s butt He will kick the snot of you.
Me: Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from him...
Mary: No one sees Hank. No one talks to Hank.
Me: Then how do you kiss His butt?
John: Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His butt. Other times we kiss Karl s butt, and he passes it on.
Me: Who is Karl?
Mary: A friend of ours. He is the one who taught us all about kissing Hank’s butt. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times.
Me: And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His butt, and that Hank would reward you?
John: Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself.

From the Desk of Karl:

1. Kiss Hank's butt and He will give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the snot out of people who are not like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list Himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don’t use alcohol.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's butt or He will kick the snot out of you.

How do you figure that?

Mary: Item 7 says everything Hank says is right. That is good enough for me!
Me: Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up.
John: No way! Item 5 says Hank dictated this list himself. Besides, item two says Use alcohol in moderation, Item 4 says Eat right and item 8 says Wash your hands after going to the bathroom. Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too.
Me: But nine says do not use alcohol. Which doesn’t quite go with item two, and 6 says the moon is made of green cheese,
which is just plain wrong.
John: There is no contradiction between nine and two, nine just clarifies two. As far as six goes, you have never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure.
Me: Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock...
Mary: But they do not know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese.
Me: I am not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Earth somehow captured the Moon has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from does not make it
cheese.
John: Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!
Me: We do?
Mary: Of course we do, Item 7 says so.
Me: You are saying Hank s always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That s circular logic, no different from saying Hank is right because He says He is right.
John: Now you are getting it! It is so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank’s way of thinking.
Me: But...oh, never mind. What is the deal with wieners?
Mary blushes.
John: Wieners, in buns, no condiments. Its Hank’s way. Anything else is wrong.
Me: What if I don't have a bun?
John: No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong.
Me: No relish. No Mustard.
Mary looks positively stricken.
John: (shouting) there is no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!
Me: So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question.
Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears. I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la.
John: That is disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that...
Me: It s good! I eat it all the time.
Mary faints. John catches Mary.
John: Well, if I had known you were one of those I would not have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the snot out of you, I will be there, counting my money and laughing. I will kiss Hank s butt for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater.

With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

If I were to teach a class in journalism, what would I teach?

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?


October 2002


Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16.

Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)


I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Get Out

Students Support Green Fee at USF

New charges for sustainable energy fund initiated by Florida university students.

Is it worth 75 cents to save the environment?

Florida college students are saying yes. They are now asking state lawmakers to allow them to pay more to go ‘green.’

Students at the University of South Florida in Saint Petersburg are proposing an additional fee for every credit hour.  If passed, it could raise the cost of attending USF by about fifteen dollars per semester.  

Green Fee to Save Energy

The new cost is named the ‘Student Green Energy Fund.’ The amount may vary, set by majority vote.  It can be no more than $1 per credit hour. The money goes towards lowering energy costs by developing on-campus renewable energy sources.  According to the USF Office of Sustainability, the fund will support several energy efficient programs. [more]

Student Sponsored

“The bill is completely student sponsored; it was designed by students, and it’s been a total student initiative,” says Dan Cannon, organizer for the Southern Energy Network.

 The Southern Energy Network works with students in Florida to develop initiatives promoting energy sustainability. The movement is gaining support throughout the Florida University system. More than half of USF students support the measure.

“There are over eight active campuses working on it currently,” says Cannon. “The idea is the bill would be passed through state legislature and give individual campuses the right to implement a student green energy fund.”

“A small increase is worth the benefits,” says USF student David O’Neill.  “We are proposing only a 50 cent fee.”

More Money for Academics

Supporters say the goal is to make the university more energy efficient. Any savings in utility costs would make more funds available for academics.  It will offset recent budget cuts in the university system.

The fund is for development of renewable energy sources to lower utility costs.  Typically, utilities are the highest university expense next to enrollment.

Senate to Vote on Fee

By law, any changes to the state school system first must pass the Florida Legislature.  The proposed changes in university rules (Senate Bill 778) is on the current Senate schedule.  The new Florida legislative session begins this week.

After passing the legislature, the entire USF student body will vote on the initiative by the fall of 2010. If passed, it will then be up for renewal every three years.

USF leads Green Education

The Student Green Energy Fund is not the only new green program at USF.

The University is taking the lead in teaching new energy technologies.  The Tampa campus is the first in the nation to offer a School of Global Sustainability.  Students can specialize in careers that will highlight clean energy and renewable resources. 

Green Jobs Growing

Sustainable energy is a growing field that will help industries save money and the environment. The US Department of Labor Statistics predicts ‘green’ jobs in the environmental job market will grow as much as 30 percent in the next decade.

The Student Green Energy Fund can be seen as an investment in a growth market.

For more information:

The Association for the Advancement of Sustainability in Higher Education: http://www.aashe.org/

On March 6, thousands of Buddhist monks and well-wishers of many faiths crowded a West Tampa temple to attend the opening ceremony for the world’s largest solid jade Buddha. The nine-foot statue is in its first American city on the Great Jade Buddha for Universal Peace World Tour. The tour is to promote peaceful understanding between faiths, and is on display in Tampa for 10 days.

The Great Jade Buddha is valued at five million dollars. Carved in Thailand in 2008 from a single four-ton stone, the statue was patterned after the sacred Mahabodhi Stupa at Bodh Gaya in India. The carvers chose that image because it is recognizable to all Buddhists. Canada’s British Columbian mountains provided the solid gemstone-quality Nephrite Jade.

At Saturday’s opening service, Buddhist monks stood in line to make offerings to the statue while chanting and burning incense. A public viewing with prayers, firecracker displays, and children dancing in dragon costumes followed the opening ceremony.

The statue is on display through March 15 at the Minh Dang Quang Monastery, located at 5607 Town N Country Blvd. The Great Jade Buddha for World Peace world tour began in Vietnam in March 2009 and will end in Asia sometime in 2012.

Last week was the three year anniversary of my accident. It is the single incident that has propelled me to some of the great things I have today - Margaret, USF and many of the good things I am enjoying right now...

ONION

In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people there was this Doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu.
Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it and many died.
The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home, (probably only two rooms back then). The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ. She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work.. (And no, she is not in the onion business.)
The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home. If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or even on top somewhere. Try it and see what happens. We did it last year and we never got the flu.
If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the better. If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case..

Whatever, what have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions!

Now there is a P. S. to this for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues. She replied with this most interesting experience about onions:

Weldon,thanks for the reminder. I don't know about the farmers story...but, I do know that I contacted pneumonia and needless to say I was very ill...I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion put one end on a fork and then place the forked end into an empty jar...placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the
morning from the germs...sure enough it happened just like that...the onion was a mess and I began to feel better.

Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.

This is the other note.

LEFT OVER ONIONS ARE POISONOUS

I have used an onion that has been left in the fridge, and sometimes I
don't use a whole one at one time, so save the other half for later.

Now with this info, I have changed my mind...will buy smaller onions in
the future.

I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, Makers of
mayonnaise. Mullins is huge, and is owned by 11 brothers and sisters in
the Mullins family. My friend, Jeanne, is the CEO.

Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I
learned from a chemist.

The guy who gave us our tour is named Ed. He's one of the brothers Ed is a chemistry expert and is involved in developing most of the sauce formula. He's even developed sauce formula for McDonald's.

Keep in mind that Ed is a food chemistry whiz. During the tour, someone
asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always
worried that mayonnaise will spoil. Ed's answer will surprise you. Ed said
that all commercially- made Mayo is completely safe.

"It doesn't even have to be refrigerated. No harm in refrigerating it, but
it's not really necessary." He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set
at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment. He then
talked about the quintessential picnic, with the bowl of potato salad
sitting on the table and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick.

Ed says that when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials
look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). Ed says it's not the mayonnaise (as long as it's not homemade Mayo) that spoils in the outdoors. It's probably the
onions, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES.

He explained, onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked
onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion.. He says it's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your
refrigerator.

It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit,
that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you
put in your hotdogs at the baseball park!)

Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you'll
probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put on your
sandwich, you're asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato
in a potato salad, will attract and grow bacteria faster than any
commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down.

So, how's that for news? Take it for what you will. I (the author) am going to be very careful about my onions from now on. For some reason, I see a lot of credibility coming from a chemist and a company that produces millions of pounds of mayonnaise every year.'

Also, dogs should never eat onions. Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions .Please remember it is dangerous to cut onions and try to use it to cook the next day ,it becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates Toxic bacteria which may cause Adverse Stomach infections because of excess Bile secretions and even Food poisoning.

Please pass it on to all you love and care about.

The rise of Darwin’s hypothesis on biological adaptation in the mid 19th century gave anthropologists a framework to theorize on the changing nature of human culture. Since life was seen as developing through a struggle between the “strong” and the “weak,” 19th century anthropologists viewed cultural development in the same way. These notions also fell into the concepts of “progress” that developed through the Industrial Revolution.


Many saw white European culture as the pinnacle of human civilization and viewed others through that ethnocentric prism, judging different societies in ways that assigned “stages of progress,” using their own (considered “superior”) culture as the yardstick.

These evolutionary theories were used to explain human life in terms of linear progression, now called unilineal evolutionism. Unilineal evolutionism used a spectrum that ranged from “primitive” to “advanced,” where all cultures would fall in relation to their level of “development.”


Anthropological study of the 19th century had a Judeo-Christian perspective, with the analysis of the “evolution” of various belief systems also reflecting the ideas behind unilineal evolutionism. Animism, the belief in a world inhabited by spiritual beings, evolved into polytheism, an idea that many gods influenced humanity. Monotheism then developed through an evolutionary jump from polytheism, reflecting the struggle for superiority between many gods into a single deity. To those in that time the Judeo-Christian ideal represented the “top” of the evolutionary chain.


Anthropology in 20th century moved away from the ethnocentric ideal of its predecessors, and began looking at various cultures “in their own terms.” Franz Boas, seen by many as the “father of American anthropology, rebelled against the ethnocentric tendencies of the unilineal evolutionists. He advocated ethnographic research, where the understanding of culture comes from direct observation from the “inside.” The need to leave cultural biases behind while studying culture gave Boaz and his student’s new insights on cultural differences. Culture does not evolve in a straight line, slowly progressing to a Western ideal. Culture develops in its own unique way, and because of that, they must be examined individually.


The value of recording cultural tradition developed through generations, as well as the importance of focusing on the inherent rights of indigenous peoples, illustrate the significance of modern anthropology.

The ethnocentric viewpoint of the 19th century anthropologist would view “Pygmies” as a culture “less developed.” Examination of the communities that comprise Pygmies would be limited by a sense of superiority that many anthropologists of the past felt when probing cultures different from the European “ideal.”

Pygmies is a term considered an epithet in many parts of Africa—especially the eastern part of the continent—the people are actually a collection of groups subsiding in the rainforests of Central Africa, living through a landmass twice the size of China. Their shorter stature is their feature distinguishing them from other groups in Africa.


Examining the cultural traditions of the Pygmies without the ethnography advocated in the 20th century would miss many important rituals, especially the subtleties of the experiences of education of the Mbuti young. According to Colin Turnbull in “The Mbuti Pygmies: Change and Adaptation,” the Mbuti rituals are often so informal and apparently casual that it may pass unnoticed at first.” It is easy to imagine a 19th century “armchair anthropologist” missing the significance entirely.


Ethnocentrism would gloss over the role of “play” in Mbuti children’s lives and their function as part of society, relegating the patterns to “savagery” and an under-developed culture. Rituals like the “tug of war” between males and females as well as the maturation in the elima ritual would most likely not enlighten a 19th century anthropologist to the futility of the battle between the sexes. It would probably be dismissed as “primitive.” The misunderstanding of race and sexual relations, rampant in the 19th century, would not appreciate the complexity of the Pygmy cultures. The concept of Western “progress” would categorize the Pygmies to a stage of civilization less developed, making it easier to be ignored.


The modern approach of historical particularism, an examination of the history of various cultures in a unique light and their own distinctive growth, enriches the understanding of the relationship Pygmies have to their environment and how that relationship has developed through generations. It recognizes the complexities between the sexes and uses those insights to appreciate our own struggles with gender.


It is the line of thinking prevalent in the 19th century that set the stage for the decimation of the resources of Central Africa, putting the Pygmy culture, as well as many other indigenous peoples, at risk. It is with a more enlightened view of these cultures where the need for preservation, documentation and continued survival rests.

Applying methods of anthropology and the complexity of cultures are shown to be valuable tools in addressing the world’s problems. The sensitivity of the researcher, in relating the information from well-conducted ethnographies, is essential to understanding how people relate to their environment and to each other. The lessons learned in generations of practice, such as by the Mbuti, can be integrated into the cultures of “more developed” Western peoples.


For example, the Mbuti have developed a complex process of educating their young in their preparation for integration into society. The utilization of “play” in the bopi is important for the preparation of skills that will serve them well as they mature. The value of the young to the Mbuti; how they are given complete safety in the first three years of life, as well as the equality of the mother and father in the child’s upbringing are valuable to ethnographers in recognizing the systemic complexity of the Mbuti culture.

Understanding the relationship of the Mbuti to their young can give us an insight to some of the ways Lesser Developed Countries assess the benefits of having children. The importance of children to the hunting rituals, as well as the development of the ability to reason and apply reasoning to settle disputes, can give significant lessons to humanity as a whole.

The examination of the sexual maturity of the Mbuti and the ritual elima festival, where the female celebrates her first menstruation, illuminates “the potential for conflict” that lies in the arrival of adulthood. It brings to light a moment of stress and change, making the transition much easier for both men and women. It would serve us well to integrate that type of connection into our culture of “progress.”

As stewards of the land, through methods of resource management and personal interrelationship, the Mbuti can offer an appreciation of “some of the alternate ways of living experienced by various human populations.”

Keeping A Strong Circle of Friends

Friendships are an important part of our lives. They make us feel good, give us hope and inspiration. Friends comfort us in times of stress. We look to other people for encouragement and as a source of happiness. They can be part of a support system that can get us through the rough spots in our existence.

However, what happens when some of our friends become a cause of our stress? When they do not seem to have our best interests in mind? There are times where our friends are not friends.

Humanity always had a tendency to put self-interest before the welfare of others. But not everyone acts that way. The challenge in our years is to sort out friends that are healthy to our own being. To maintain relationships that will promote your well-being and contentment. There comes a time to discard those friends who are negative or even hostile.

There are people who take advantage of the boundaries of friendship. They treat each other poorly, without care for any consequences. As an example, consider people who act differently when they are in different situations. Another type is the gossip who always talks bad about others, undercutting everyone he or she knows. In addition to these so-called ‘friends,’ there are those who manipulate others. All of these actions are done under the umbrella of friendship.

These are the types of relationships that could be described as toxic. It is important to be aware of these tainted ‘friendships’ and do what is needed to get rid of them. For your benefit, they are not healthy.

You should always be watching out for any warning signs that your friends might not be the best fit for you. Do you find yourself feeling like some of your friends take more than they give? Is there a feeling they are not supportive when you need an emotional lift? One-sided relationships do not allow for personal growth, promoting the positive characteristics in a person.

Finding yourself around people who care more about their own welfare than yours makes life a struggle. Life is too short to waste energy in maintaining relationships that make you uncomfortable. The hardest thing is to identify these difficult people and get them out of your inner circle.

What do you do when you realize that it is time to get rid of these unproductive relationships? It is not easy to break it off with people, even under the worst conditions. But it is something that needs to be done. Be upfront and do not be afraid. If you encounter any hostility or aggression, then it is a clear signal that you are making the right decision.

The scaling back of your group of friends will mean that there will be fewer people in your life, and that can be difficult to deal with. Remember, it is better to have a small circle of positive friends than a large group of acquaintances that give you unhappiness.

Do not worry—you will survive. Remind yourself that you are able to enjoy your own company. Treat yourself well. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee. Enjoy your life. With time, you will be able to friends that will enrich your life. Do not be afraid to let go of the people who make you uncomfortable.

The Rules of Trust

There is something in a loving relationship that is more valuable than gold. Many successful couples have it, and everyone else wants it. No real relationship can exist without it.

It is trust.

Trust is the most important part of any long lasting relationship. When two people fall in love and agree to share an emotional partnership, it is with the knowledge that there are some “ground rules” to their actions.

When we decide to give ourselves to another, we base love on how much our beliefs are in common with our partner. That willingness to follow some common rules forms our foundation of trust. It is the fuel of a thriving relationship.

How do we know when the need to follow rules overpowers trust? Does being strict with your partner threaten to strangle your relationship?

Rules between partners are not written in stone. Emotional flexibility is a sign of strength and shows that love is something greater than the two participants are alone. Of course, some rules are firm and are not negotiable. There are certain rules such as “do not lie to your partner,” or “do not cheat on your partner” that are deep and tied to values that are not open for discussion. They should never be broken.

However, there are some rules that are less earth shattering. Small rules (like going directly home after work) can be the ones that can be changed as need be. The healthy growth of a relationship is in the spirit of compromise. There are things in the path of love that change as the path of life changes. To make sure the partnership can survive; sometimes rules need to change. Lovers must be flexible if they want to stay in love.

Take the time to examine whether you rule with love, or do you love the rules?

The true meaning of trust relies not on any hard and fast rules. It is examining what we believe as the nature of love, and that comes from respect. Not just for your lover, but for yourself. Being rigid in love does not offer any long-term success. It builds resentment and the relationship suffers.

Communication is the key ingredient of trust. As in most areas in a successful relationship, an honest exchange between partners is the main way to establish trust. It is important to talk with your love and make an effort to see the rules through your partner’s eyes. Sometimes adjusting your point of view can give you a fresh perspective. Understanding your partner’s point of view is the first step in building a deep trusting partnership.

Trust goes hand in hand with compromise. Two people who have established trust should be able to change the rules of the game, to see where the other is coming from and react accordingly. That is a big part of trust, being able to adjust it to the needs of the partnership. It works for both of you.

Sometimes, to build a real trust is difficult. For many people, trust does not come easily. Past relationships and difficulties in your history work against trust. It can be hard work for you and your partner. In the end, trust is something that grows with the love you have for your partner. It represents the respect a couple has for each other. Trust must be earned. But like a garden, trust must be continually attended to.

Talk with your other. Being able to discuss your values and see what rules align with your core being and what will work best for your partner. You may find that sometimes changing the rules can keep love alive.