Keeping A Strong Circle of Friends

Friendships are an important part of our lives. They make us feel good, give us hope and inspiration. Friends comfort us in times of stress. We look to other people for encouragement and as a source of happiness. They can be part of a support system that can get us through the rough spots in our existence.

However, what happens when some of our friends become a cause of our stress? When they do not seem to have our best interests in mind? There are times where our friends are not friends.

Humanity always had a tendency to put self-interest before the welfare of others. But not everyone acts that way. The challenge in our years is to sort out friends that are healthy to our own being. To maintain relationships that will promote your well-being and contentment. There comes a time to discard those friends who are negative or even hostile.

There are people who take advantage of the boundaries of friendship. They treat each other poorly, without care for any consequences. As an example, consider people who act differently when they are in different situations. Another type is the gossip who always talks bad about others, undercutting everyone he or she knows. In addition to these so-called ‘friends,’ there are those who manipulate others. All of these actions are done under the umbrella of friendship.

These are the types of relationships that could be described as toxic. It is important to be aware of these tainted ‘friendships’ and do what is needed to get rid of them. For your benefit, they are not healthy.

You should always be watching out for any warning signs that your friends might not be the best fit for you. Do you find yourself feeling like some of your friends take more than they give? Is there a feeling they are not supportive when you need an emotional lift? One-sided relationships do not allow for personal growth, promoting the positive characteristics in a person.

Finding yourself around people who care more about their own welfare than yours makes life a struggle. Life is too short to waste energy in maintaining relationships that make you uncomfortable. The hardest thing is to identify these difficult people and get them out of your inner circle.

What do you do when you realize that it is time to get rid of these unproductive relationships? It is not easy to break it off with people, even under the worst conditions. But it is something that needs to be done. Be upfront and do not be afraid. If you encounter any hostility or aggression, then it is a clear signal that you are making the right decision.

The scaling back of your group of friends will mean that there will be fewer people in your life, and that can be difficult to deal with. Remember, it is better to have a small circle of positive friends than a large group of acquaintances that give you unhappiness.

Do not worry—you will survive. Remind yourself that you are able to enjoy your own company. Treat yourself well. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee. Enjoy your life. With time, you will be able to friends that will enrich your life. Do not be afraid to let go of the people who make you uncomfortable.

The Rules of Trust

There is something in a loving relationship that is more valuable than gold. Many successful couples have it, and everyone else wants it. No real relationship can exist without it.

It is trust.

Trust is the most important part of any long lasting relationship. When two people fall in love and agree to share an emotional partnership, it is with the knowledge that there are some “ground rules” to their actions.

When we decide to give ourselves to another, we base love on how much our beliefs are in common with our partner. That willingness to follow some common rules forms our foundation of trust. It is the fuel of a thriving relationship.

How do we know when the need to follow rules overpowers trust? Does being strict with your partner threaten to strangle your relationship?

Rules between partners are not written in stone. Emotional flexibility is a sign of strength and shows that love is something greater than the two participants are alone. Of course, some rules are firm and are not negotiable. There are certain rules such as “do not lie to your partner,” or “do not cheat on your partner” that are deep and tied to values that are not open for discussion. They should never be broken.

However, there are some rules that are less earth shattering. Small rules (like going directly home after work) can be the ones that can be changed as need be. The healthy growth of a relationship is in the spirit of compromise. There are things in the path of love that change as the path of life changes. To make sure the partnership can survive; sometimes rules need to change. Lovers must be flexible if they want to stay in love.

Take the time to examine whether you rule with love, or do you love the rules?

The true meaning of trust relies not on any hard and fast rules. It is examining what we believe as the nature of love, and that comes from respect. Not just for your lover, but for yourself. Being rigid in love does not offer any long-term success. It builds resentment and the relationship suffers.

Communication is the key ingredient of trust. As in most areas in a successful relationship, an honest exchange between partners is the main way to establish trust. It is important to talk with your love and make an effort to see the rules through your partner’s eyes. Sometimes adjusting your point of view can give you a fresh perspective. Understanding your partner’s point of view is the first step in building a deep trusting partnership.

Trust goes hand in hand with compromise. Two people who have established trust should be able to change the rules of the game, to see where the other is coming from and react accordingly. That is a big part of trust, being able to adjust it to the needs of the partnership. It works for both of you.

Sometimes, to build a real trust is difficult. For many people, trust does not come easily. Past relationships and difficulties in your history work against trust. It can be hard work for you and your partner. In the end, trust is something that grows with the love you have for your partner. It represents the respect a couple has for each other. Trust must be earned. But like a garden, trust must be continually attended to.

Talk with your other. Being able to discuss your values and see what rules align with your core being and what will work best for your partner. You may find that sometimes changing the rules can keep love alive.

Talking Tough for A Happier You

Feeling good is the goal for all of us. We have a deep desire to feel good about friends, our families and ourselves. The search in life is for happiness and fulfillment, in both our personal and professional lives. Well-being is the one of our basic human needs, much like food and shelter.

It may not come as a surprise but a recent survey found happy people are better equipped to handle stress in the workplace. Ultimately, happier employees are more productive and are an asset to the company. The most successful businesses understand the need for content, productive workers and management acts accordingly.

However, what about our lives outside of work? What can we do to make sure that we are productive in our own lives? To reach that goal of a content, fruitful life, we must look at ourselves with openness. Sometimes, to get to the place we need to be, we have to shine a harsh light inwards. That means taking the good with the bad.

The time has come to take stock of ourselves and see where we feel good and bad about our life. Are we happy with our life? If you are, keep it up! If not, ask what changes can be made to become the content, productive people we desire to be?

One of the biggest questions we can ask is about the people who we surround ourselves. Are they making us happy? If not, for the sake of your interests, changes must be made. Life is too short to hang around those who work against your long-term happiness. You should not have to tolerate people who cause you anxiety. This applies to everyone—friends, family and lovers.

Analyzing our relationships can be a simple task, but can also be extremely difficult to follow up. How can you tell a person that they are making you unhappy? There is no easy way to do it. It takes quite a lot of bravery on your part. Keep in mind—the stakes cannot be higher. Everyone deserves to be happy, and the result of a deep heart-to-heart talk will benefit (at least in the end) both you and the other person.

It all starts with simple conversation. As in most human activities, communication is the foundation of successful relationships. To be happy you have to let it be known. Do not be timid, don’t hold back. Remember, you are not there to be cruel or mean spirited. It will not help by hurting feelings. You are coming from a position of kindness, with the desire to make everyone happy.

Start by plainly telling them how you feel. Do not accuse them of anything; it is how you feel. It may not be their fault. Talk about your emotions and the events leading to this point in your life.

Explain why you need to be having this discussion with them. It may be the other person is also unhappy. You may be doing them a favor by being honest about their effect on your happiness. An open exchange may just be the thing they needed to bring their own long-awaited joy.

It will be clear to your friend (or family member) that it is not an easy conversation to have. If they are someone close to you, they will respect your opinion. Who knows? They just may be in the market for a change.

A little cold water can soothe a relationship and may just be the thing that can make you both feel good.